Archive for the ‘Zappadan’ Category

He used to cut the grass

December 7, 2014

I used to cut the grass. I should do it again today. But I’d rather take a nice bike ride, maybe dwindle off into the twilight realm of my own secret thoughts. It’s day four of Zappadan 2014, and I don’t know any nice songs for cutting the grass.

Except for this one. And no, I won’t turn it down. I’m not a very nice boy.

Zomby woof

December 6, 2014

Don't mess with the Zomby Woof.

Don’t mess with the Zomby Woof.

Mister Boo’s recovery continues nicely, thanks to some timely musical therapy from that Over-Nite Sensation Frank Zappa on this, day three of Zappadan 2014.

The cone comes off more often now, and a neighbor who saw him motoring along like the happy little guy he is proclaimed that The Boo was “walking tall.”

Don’t mess with the Zomby Woof, y’all.

Do, however, feel free to mess with the UCI for this hash of a press release. Jesus H. Christ, it takes talent to say less than fuck-all while using 714 words to do it.

I remember discussing a semantic analysis of the Budweiser jingle during my college days. What it boils down to, the professor explained, is a list of the various Anheuser-Busch trademarks for Budweiser that says absolutely nothing about the quality of the beer. A masterpiece of obfuscation that remained unsurpassed until the UCI came on the scene. Well done.


Can without Spam

December 5, 2014

After yesterday’s launch was scrubbed, Orion finally got it up today, so I thought I’d post this horn-fueled version of “Stairway to Heaven” from FZ and the gang on this, the second day of Zappadan 2014.

When I was a squirt and sci-fi nerd, I watched as many launches as I could get away with. The old man was pretty liberal about that sort of self-education, bringing home plenty of autographed pix of Mercury, Gemini and Apollo astronauts, and it was one of the things I really liked about growing up in an Air Force household.

I’ve always wondered how much further we might be along today had we spent a little less time blowing stuff up and a little more sending it up. Instead of contemplating a few unmanned laps around the Earth and moon, which is slightly old hat, we’d have had at least one Starbucks on Mars by now, on Podkayne Fries Boulevard, and a share apiece in Venus Corporation.

Some Zappantani for breakfast

December 4, 2014

This just in: Marco Pantani is still dead. So is Frank Zappa, but nobody killed him, not even the Mafia, Darren Wilson or Daniel Pantaleo.

That’s right, kiddies, it’s Round One of Zappadan, also known as BummerNacht, the anniversary of FZ’s departure to The Big Studio In the Sky. But don’t freak out, working yourself into an imaginary frenzy — he shall rise again on Zero Day, December 21, the anniversary of his birth.

So whip up a tasty platter of hot rats in lumpy gravy, ring up Uncle Meat and the Grand Wazoo, and go cruising with Ruben and the Jets. But first clean up that cosmik debris (it’ll cure your asthma, too). Now, everybody sing along: “Look, here, NASA … who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?”


Frank Zappa at the Roubaix Theatre

December 8, 2013

“To rebel in our house, I always said, I’d have to become an accountant or a lawyer.” — Dweezil Zappa


December 4, 2013

It was 20 years ago today … and no, I’m not talking Sgt. Pepper here.

“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”

— Frank Zappa, Dec. 21, 1940-Dec. 4, 1993

Hey, do you think he was channeling Larry’s wife?

BummerNacht: Stairway to Heaven

December 4, 2012


More Zappadan bloggery:

• Zen Comix, “Franktasia: John Jacob Dingleberry Shlitz.”

• Darkblack, “The Druid of Chrome.”

• Adventures Into the Well-Known, “I Wish Motorhead Would Come Back.”

Great googly moogly!

December 3, 2012
Phi Zappa Krappa

Phi Zappa Krappa: Tommy the Toilet never had it so rough.

I almost forgot — it’s Zappadan Eve!

Thanks to Sandy Underpants at The Aristocrats for the reminder. I first saw this poster at a head shop in downtown Bibleburg waaaaay back in the day. We thought the shit was deep back then, but it seems the torture never stops.

Whipping post

December 6, 2011

My friend and colleague Charles Pelkey will be appearing on “The Outspoken Cyclist” with Diane Lees on Saturday. You should give it a listen.

But first, listen to Frank and the band performing the Allman Brothers classic “Whipping Post” live in Barcelona, circa 1988 — with a few interesting alterations to the original lyrics — and praise Jeebus that Frank never got hooked up with Cher the way Gregg Allman did.

Nanook rubs it

December 5, 2011

Great googly-moogly! The thermometer has been pegged at the low teens all day long. I ventured out exactly twice, the first time to broom away the light snow that fell overnight, and the second time to collect a few bottles of antifreeze from the local grog shop in order to toast my fellow Zappatistas on this, the frigid second day of Zappadan 2011.

The temps are supposed to drop to minus-7 tonight. This would feel like a relaxing soak in a hot tub to my man Charles Pelkey, who reports that last night’s low in Laramie approached minus-30. The thud of engine blocks exploding and water mains bursting must keep folks up at night.

The downside about being stuck indoors on a slow cycling-news day is that one is tempted to look at the real news, and lately that is enough to set the stoutest young Eskimo boy to beating himself upside the head with a lead-filled snowshoe. Or perhaps depriving himself of his sight through the application to the eyes (via a vigorous circular motion) of the Deadly Yellow Snow, from right there where the huskies go.

I mean, can you imagine a world in which Newt Gingrich is the front-runner for the GOP nomination for president of the United States?

Hey … I think I just cheered myself up.


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