A different shade of yellow?

OK, let’s see if I have this right: The One Ball To Rule Them All has a come-to-Jesus moment, enters negotiations to return some of his pirate loot and indicates a willingness to start ratting folks out right around the same time that Justice Department officials were moving toward a recommendation that the government join Floyd Landis’ whistleblower lawsuit, which accuses our newly regretful soul of defrauding the feds.

Yup, sounds like genuine contrition to me. I’d be sorry too — mostly that I didn’t have a few people dropped into the Gulf of Mexico, wearing jukeboxes full of Robert Earl Keen tunes, back when I could still get away with it — but hey, sorry is sorry, right? Right?

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23 Responses to “A different shade of yellow?”

  1. Jay Fromkin Says:

    The road goes on forever and the party never ends.

  2. GJ John Says:

    Now he wants to turn around and rat out those that made him rich? Does he really think he’ll go back to being everyone’s hero all of a sudden? That guy has got some huevo.

    Still, it might be worth it if he finks on Patty and Heinny.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    The WSJ article is fascinating, as is the Tygart interview. Just what I would expect.

  4. Libby Says:

    “Unfazed”. “Smiles and handshakes.” A show of strength and ease: not holed up but running and coyly subverting the press outside his home. Making sure he is seen – ever so cool – exercising and later with his posse. It’s sickening.
    How much talk about his father; his fertility issues; his then wife’s ‘miracle’ in vitro pregnancies and the last two ‘miracle’ babies with his current partner. I know Oprah had his ex-wife on the show years ago and probably Crow so she has footage of them discussing their time with him. Maybe that will be folded in to the show. In a previous post, commenter Jon Paulos reminded us to ‘ remember Ophrah’s audience’ or something close to that.
    I wonder what he’ll say about Floyd…..

  5. High Plains Drifters Says:

    If only there was such a thing as lying-enhancement drugs, Lance Armstrong would not be in this mess.

    • High Plains Drifters Says:

      The WSJ piece on his strategizing is fascinating. Why does it take a brigade if lawyers to figure out what “right” looks like? Effing psychopath.

      • John Hodge Says:

        I especially like this part in the WSJ article:
        “In October, Mr. Armstrong huddled with friends and advisers and told them he was considering coming clean about doping.”
        Uh, isn’t “considering coming clean” pretty much the same thing as admitting doping?

        I guess with Armstrong (and his lawyers) the actual truth is just one of many possible stories they could tell, no different than any other story. “Psycopath” may not be an exaggeration.

      • Libby Says:

        That.

  6. Libby Says:

    Columnist David Whitley also fears Ophrah was suckered. http://aol.sportingnews.com/sport/story/2013-01-14/lance-armstrong-oprah-interview-show-2013-doping-did-he-take-peds-confession

  7. Larry T. Says:

    Okrah ain’t getting suckered, she’s cashing in just like BigTex. She, just like Tex, will say or do anything for fame and/or fortune. They’re a great pair. BigTex is certainly sorry…that he got CAUGHT and (so far) hasn’t been able to weasel his way out of it to continue his Cancer Jesus money-making, starlet f__king, bullsh__ing lifestyle as a big hero and inspiration to the clueless. If he gave back ALL of his ill-gotten loot, truly apologized to every person he screwed over and gave up his luxury lifestyle, he could then (I hope) just GO AWAY and work for “cancer awareness” in a real way…but whatever happens I just wish he’d GO AWAY.

    • John Hodge Says:

      Hey Larry! When you get to Italy could you track down Simeoni and on behalf of all of us tell him “we’re sorry”. Remind him that most Americans aren’t like TLBWSNBN.

      Most Texans, maybe, but not most Americans.

      • khal spencer Says:

        There is a long line of people waiting to either get a real apology or in line with a razor strop, if anyone else my age catches my drift. (Thankfully, I never had the pleasure of that rite of passage).

  8. Jeff Cozad Says:

    Please… Please… Please do a “Live Update Guy” session during the “interview”.

  9. Jon Paulos Says:

    Truly, if this is what it takes to get Patrick in full snark mode, I hope it never ends. “…boiled head of Filippo Simeoni…” Everyone in my cube farm was giving me the hairy eyeball for laughing so hard.

  10. ianbrettcooper Says:

    Since he’s the kingpin, who is he planning to rat out – all the folks he paid to keep him doped up?

    It’s just another stop on the Lance Expressway. For someone as amoral, narcissistic and out-of-touch as Lance, the sky’s the limit. We may even see President Lance Armstrong – now that would be scary.

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