Training for his urine test

Color me cynical, but I do believe Belgian trackie Gijs Van Hoecke will test positive for tonsil polish — that is, if he has any fluids remaining inside his body for testing purposes.

The Belgian federation shitcanned Van Hoecke from the 2012 Olympics after the Limey scandal sheet The Daily Mail ran pix of Olympians leaving a London club earlier this week. The sopping wet, sleepily smiling 20-year-old was snapped as his mates fetched him to a waiting cab, the driver of which I trust they tipped handsomely.

Van Hoecke issued an apology of sorts in a chat with RTBF television. “What happened is a pity. I am sorry, this should not have happened,” he said. “But I also think that after two years of relentless work, I have the right to let my hair down.

“It would have been better if it had not happened here in London. I chose the wrong moment. Having said that, it was outside the Olympic Village, I wasn’t disturbing other athletes, they didn’t say anything about it.”

Word. I wonder how many esteemed Daily Mail scribes have had to be carried from pubs to cabs after concluding their little bit of business at day’s end.

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4 Responses to “Training for his urine test”

  1. terribleclaws Says:

    The word I heard (completely unverified, but since when has that stopped me) is that his Olympics were done, that he’d already competed in whatever event(s) it was that he didn’t win. If I’d trained hard, did my best, finished all my races, and had just an “also ran” medal to show for it, I’d go get shit faced too. Why the hell not?

    If I recall correctly, the “official Olympic beer” was from Belgium anyway. Hell, he was being patriotic! And that the sort of patriotism I can raise a beer to.

  2. Joe Says:

    Aw hell, they oughta lay off the kid. He’s just training to be the next Eddy Merckx, post-racing career, that is. And that took a lot of Heineyken before he whupped his own butt back into shape.

  3. Marc Says:

    Having seen the photos, I’m impressed how well it rained on his crotch, and spared the rest of him. One of his “carriers” suffered from similar meteorology. I’m with prior commenters. But I do enjoy the Mail’s tawdry e-news of UK’s Olympic moments. It covered stuck-out tongues as well as weepy losers. Like others, I’d give GVH the slack that we’d want in his place. At least it did not give Phelps “Gold for Bong Hits!”

  4. James Maxwell Radcliffe Says:

    An oldie but a goodie:

    Q: What’s the difference between a Belgian cyclist’s urine sample and a liter of jet fuel?

    A: About three-fifths of a liter.

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