Yes, those smelly old elves are at it again in the basement.
Tell you what: When it rains, it pours, especially in our basement.
The water heater is on the fritz now, pissing all over the floor like a badly trained dog, and I would shoot the fucker two or three times if I weren’t afraid of inflicting collateral damage upon the humidifier, which in this climate is the only thing keeping me from bleeding to death through the nose.
Speaking of noses, when the temps creep up into the high 80s, low 90s, what a man wants is a basement free of raw sewage. They say that shit rolls downhill, and speaking as a longtime resident of the valley I will say that they do not lie.
But the stink from same, like the sun, also rises. And a man with a litter box in his office upstairs doesn’t need any more of that sort of annoyance than he can achieve through a diet rich in the foodstuffs of Northern New Mexico, which at least smells good going in.
So much for the bad news. The good news is that chats with the insurance company have not led to extended bouts of weeping; an expert is en route today to lay hands upon the water heater (rather than 158-grain, semi-jacketed, .357 Magnum hollow points); and Ted at Old Town Bike Shop resolved an issue with the front disc brake on the latest test bike, for which I owe him some beer and many thanks.
Tags: Ernest Hemingway, The Shit Monsoon
May 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm |
Those semi-jacketed 357′s might also work well on text-messaging drivers. Now….did I really say that?
May 31, 2012 at 8:53 pm |
Yeah, but the old S&W smokepole weighs more than most bikes these days. Hell on the jersey pocket. The good news is, it never jams, and even if it’s unloaded, it still makes one hell of a bludgeon.
May 31, 2012 at 7:09 pm |
I really like the idea of a handlebar or pannier mounted RPG myself khal.
May 31, 2012 at 8:54 pm |
A top tube in 12-gauge would be nice, eh?
June 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Mentioning the weight of an S&W in the jersey makes me wonder if lasers won’t be the weapon of choice for cyclists, once perfected. It would be real nice if one could be powered by a dynamo hub.
May 31, 2012 at 7:12 pm |
Is it time for a tankless water heater? A bit higher upfront cost but lower operating cost, so savings in the long run, and no bigger than an airplane rollaway, hung on your wall. That last is going to be welcome if you’re going to have shit fountains down there every few years, and have to keep ripping up the floor.
May 31, 2012 at 9:00 pm |
Jon, we suffer from high pressure in this neck of the woods, so we had a second damper installed to dial down the line to the water heater and replaced the relief valve, too. But I’m starting to think about giving up on the idea of a toilet downstairs. There are lots of rentals in the area … a guy can always slink over to one of them, crap in the yard and blame it on the dog(s).
May 31, 2012 at 8:41 pm |
I’ve wanted to empty full rounds of a 357 onto disc brakes which I think are one of the nuttiest “upgrades” to ever hit cycling. Give me butter-smooth can ti’s any day.
May 31, 2012 at 9:02 pm |
Herb, I hear you. Anything wrong with calipers, cantis, V-brakes? Nuh-uh. I like calipers and cantis myself. I’m deeply suspicious of any component that can’t be adjusted with a wrench, a hammer and some bad language.