Another Tuesday, another primary

If this is Tuesday, then it must be another GOP primary, and the race between the sweater-vestmented reincarnation of Torquemada and a Terminator built on spec’ by a couple of laid-off Rambler mechanics has been too close to call.

But tonight there will be a winner and … a winner?

Rick Sanctimonious’ handlers are already on record as saying that they’ve won in Michigan and Arizona, regardless of whether their man actually wins.

Which he won’t — not in Arizona, anyway, where CNN called it for the RomneyBot 2012 before I finished my second beer this evening.

Michigan apparently remains up for grabs, in no small measure because anyone can play in the GOP primary there, and the Donks are queering the pitch by turning out for Frothy Mix, who has encouraged their participation against the RomneyBot 2012 via the irony of robocalls.

Some Donks think Torquemada v2.0 will be easier for the prez to flog in the general; others clearly have been driven completely insane by seeing these two wealthy honkies crisscrossing the state like gold-plated drones, each claiming to speak for the working man.

I probably won’t follow this nightmare to its conclusion this evening because there won’t be one. The Four Stooges will battle on through Super Tuesday at least, and there will be plenty of opportunity to bring the snark between now and then.

In the meantime, here’s the current occupant of the Oval Office addressing the United Auto Workers Annual Conference. Say what you will about the guy — he makes the rest of the applicants for the job look like the Deltas overestimating their popularity with Otis Day and the Knights in “Animal House.” *

* And yes, I know that the GOP lot are much more Omega Theta Pi than Delta Tau Chi. I was just reaching for the whole getting-your-privileged-ass-kicked thing.

• Late update: The nets have called Michigan for the RomneyBot as well. Gold-plated human-cyborg-relations droids everywhere cheer.

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14 Responses to “Another Tuesday, another primary”

  1. barry Says:

    So did I miss something or nothing?

    I had a bike ride around town to do tonight and have just broken my late day fast. 30 miles on a February night is good no matter what ill political winds may lurk on the horizon.

    About my question…I’ll assume the latter.

  2. Khal Spencer Says:

    NY Times is calling Michigan for the rich guy, but not by much. Mind if I excuse myself now and throw up.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      K, I hear you. Who in his/her right mind could pull the lever for the RomneyBot 2012? In a race between it and a rock I’m going for the rock every time, or staying home.

      Come to think of it, who the hell would pull the lever for Torquemada v2.0? Again, the rock is looking pretty damn’ good, as is staying home.

      • Larry T. Says:

        As they say, the demographics of the primary voters in these things are basically “old, angry, white guys”. No mention is made of them being complete morons, so the choice is 3 kooks or a smart guy who’ll say ANYTHING to win. The smart guy’s got loads of dough behind him including a lot of his own. If YOU wanted to get the socialist, snobby, Muslim/Kenyan black man out of the White House who would YOU vote for? The good news for me is that demographic is going the way of the dinosaurs – these could just be the screams as they sink into the tar pits, but I’m not banking on it just yet. Meanwhile it’s a nice day in Sicily and we’ll get out on the bikes after some rainy and windy days earlier in the week.

  3. Andy Bohlmann Says:

    Hey, my mother drove a Rambler…and voted Republican, too.

    She’s long dead now, burned and urned and on the shelf next to the dog.

    • Khal Spencer Says:

      The difference between George and Mittens is the difference between and old fashioned Main Street Republican and a vulture capitalist. George marched with the NAACP, for example.

  4. john Says:

    Someday they’ll make a movie about this. Given Mitten’s penchant for saying dumb things with total confidence, I think he’s got to be played by Fred Willard — who can forget his goofy announcer in “Best In Show”?

    The fact that Mitt’s given name is Willard simply cements the case.

    I think Obama’s people are licking their chops. For all he’s disappointed us, Obama is a million times better and can wipe the floor with any of these guys. Especially if we get the version who was speaking to the UAW in that clip! Yeah!

    • Khal Spencer Says:

      The difference between Barry’s speech to the UAW and Mitten’s stumbling commentary is pretty amazing. Even if I wasn’t a Demublican, I would say the same, having taught public speaking to grad students for half a dozen years.

    • BenS Says:

      Yup Fred Willard is our man. You could put some of his Fernwood Tonight clips, tag them as romneybot 2012 and no one would know the difference.

  5. Khal Spencer Says:

    too bad Belushi is not still with us. He could give better speech than any of the current GOP hopefuls.

  6. Bobzilla Says:

    Santorum was nice enough to robo-call me at least 10 times. Wondered how many times someone has to call before it is stalking.

    Mitten was right about the trees here, they are the right size. He was wrong about the bailout (at least for here) as those in this area that don’t work for GM or know someone who does, does know someone who works for a supplier.

    Ron Paul drew 6,000 for an appearance at Michigan State, the others have problems filling a hotel ballroom. None of the above is the choice among GOPers here.

  7. Duncan Carter Says:

    As is often the case, the Onion says it best. “Romney Thanks State He Was Born And Raised In For Just Barely Giving Him Enough Votes To Beat Total Maniac”

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-thanks-state-he-was-born-and-raised-in-for,27496/

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    [...]Another Tuesday, another primary « Mad Blog Media[...]…

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