Food for thought

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Whose peppers? OUR peppers!

There may be an upside to working five days a week, in addition to the obvious (a heftier paycheck): I spend more time reading cycling news and less time reading real news.

That’s got to be good for the blood pressure.

For example, today I got up at 7, grabbed a cup of Joe, assumed the position before the iMac and began the process of rerouting the contents of my in-box toward the sprawling server farm in Spaminacanistan that hosts the VeloNews.com website. This took the better part of quite some time but upon reflection seems very little like working for a living when compared to covering the interminable GOP “debates.”

The day’s chores included rewriting a press release; editing, augmenting and posting a few Agence France Presse wire-service stories; uploading a couple tech pieces; editing and posting a half-dozen bits from staffers and contributors; finding art to illustrate all of this; changing the marquee pic; and putting the finishing touches on a weekly e-mail newsletter The Company sends out.

I also managed to communicate electronically with distant colleagues in San Diego, Boulder, Laguna Hills, Brussels and Leon, Spain, without once using the word “fuck,” which may be a first.

So I didn’t get around to noticing that our friends at Fox News had decreed pepper spray to be “a food product, essentially,” until pretty late in the day, as I was self-administering a mild sedative that the French supply in liquid form without a prescription.

Pepper spray. A “food product.”

Well, shit. Don’t tell her momma, but it appears that I stealth-sprayed Herself last night. Slipped four dried red New Mexican chile pods into the posole I whipped up for dinner.

She never knew what hit her, the little commie.

19 Responses to “Food for thought”

  1. BenS Says:

    First ketchup is a vegetable now this. Is there nothing the rabid right/commercial government spokes fools won’t reinvent to make their owners look good?

  2. Khal Spencer Says:

    FAUX News is modern day Pravda. Since Americans are no smarter than others, one has to worry about when nature will take its toll and our own government will fall to something along the lines of the USSR or Nazi Germany. I’m not entirely optimistic we will persevere as a democracy. Too much money to be made otherwise.

  3. James Says:

    If peppers make one a commie, I am more than happy to oblige!! Does that mean, however, that I have to give up my job too?

    Patrick, it is good to hear thought that you made it through an entire day of ‘work’ without dropping a public F-bomb. I know how hard the man can be…..just think though of all the nice new toys you will get when that phat paycheck comes. I foresee a nice new bicycle in your future.

  4. Larry T. Says:

    Khal, IS the USA still a democracy? Seems like more of an oligarchy though maybe not as much as Russia. OG gets a job, we flee to Italy….anything to escape Faux News and the Repuglicans! But we saw the “food product application” at UC Davis on Italian TV news and we read the latest moronic quotes from the Repugs in the IHT. Can’t totally escape but we’re trying! Hang in their OG, do you have a calendar where you’re crossing the days off jailbird style?

    • Libby Says:

      Larry,
      I saw video on ‘la vita en diretta’ at 10:30 AM (ET) of the flood/mud in Messina area today. The coverage opened the show. Horrific footage. Hope you are safe in your town.

      • Larry T. Says:

        Thanks for the kind wishes. We’re south of them Libby, unless there’s a tidal wave (or maybe if Etna blows its top?) Ortigia will be fine no matter how much it rains. The tiny island is almost totally covered with stones and pretty flat. We’ve had some big rains that caused leaks into our apartment but nothing that couldn’t be mopped up in an hour. With three floors in our rented digs we could always run upstairs to escape anything really bad. No car to worry about, though we’d probably bring our road bikes up a floor to avoid them being submerged. We’re right on the sea, only a two-lane road separates us from the Ionian sea with a wall that extends down about 10 meters…though when the sea gets stirred up the waves burst up and splash the road. Our transportation bikes are taking a beating outside in the almost-constant salt spray!

    • Khal Spencer Says:

      Less and less so, Larry. Oligarchy is more accurate. The little people are simply paid to pull the levers that the Koch brothers tell them to pull–or else. Its a company town on the national level.

      Well, I say that if FAUX news thinks pepper spray is a food, then we should make sure their TV personalities never go hungry!!

  5. Libby Says:

    Sounds like the first day went great!
    I will NOT be one if those people who tells you that you will be more organized and get more done at home because you have less time to do it in. (Yes, I had a dopey friend who said it to me.)
    I have those dishes, too.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Libby, it’s been a long week. When outgoing web editor Steve Frothingham hit the door running he reminded me that we run a little short of news content this time of year. That hasn’t been the case, until today, when the flood dwindled to a trickle. I actually got out for a ride and everything.

      You have the Pfaltzgraff plates too? Man, we have a ton of that stuff — cups, saucers, plates, soup tureens, baking dishes, you name it. Don’t recall how we got started down that road but there’s no going back now. Herself is always getting another piece from friends or family who think we’re collecting it. We are, of course, but only because they keep giving it to us.

      Oh, for the glory days when I ate out of the cookpot, standing over the sink. …

  6. Dan Reilly Says:

    I do not understand the frustration you have with the GOP Debates! So far as I can tell there is nothing funnier on television than this sitcom offered up by our friends on the right!

    • Larry T. Says:

      It’s the scary thought that one of these bozos could end up in the White House if things go horribly, horribly wrong one year from now!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      It is great craic, as my Irish brethren across the water would say. But as Larry notes, occasionally the bozo emerges triumphant. A look back at the past few election cycles always leaves me shaking my head.

      “We demand change!” thunders the electorate in 2008. Two years later, it elects a Congress that makes said change impossible. Who knows what they’ll go for in 2012? Hell, they might write in David Duke, Daisy Duke or Marmaduke.

      Really, you can’t make this stuff up.

  7. barry Says:

    Here’s another bit of news to go along with Patrick’s, since we’re talking about their royal Fauxness.

    duh!?

    • Khal Spencer Says:

      FAUX News watchers clueless? I’m shocked!

    • Larry T. Says:

      And people wonder why I’m NOT a fan of the SKY team. The only thing ol’ Rupert is good for is the Fox animated series’ which I guess by contract he can’t influence the content of….he just cashes the checks. Here in Italy there’s channel 4, one of Berlusconi’s stations – the Telegiornale guy reads the news off each night with all kinds of gestures and body-language indicating his disgust with anyone opposed to Silvio’s regime. Meanwhile the “commie” channel 3 runs the reports on Sil’s various corruption and sex trials with clips of Ruby “the Heart Stealer” and other bimbos Sil’s used his viagra with. In the end the commercials are better than the programs most of the time.

  8. Boz Says:

    I’m in the same straights as OG, having started working for the man again. Only this time around, I can bike to work. Plus, the company is 1/3 employee owned, has a real 401k, halfway affordable health insurance, and prefers to hire experienced people. Shows even a blind chicken like me can find a piece of corn occasionally.

  9. That was absurd, let’s eat dead bird « Mad Blog Media Says:

    [...] a glass to longtime Friend of the DogS(h)ite Boz, who notes in comments that he’s back to working for The Man. From our family to all of yours, happy Thanksgiving. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this [...]

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